Friday, May 16, 2008

Ahem ...

Ride. Ride like there is no tomorrow. Ride your bike and grill a steak when you get home and get up the next day and ride some more. Drink lots of beer that is packaged in aluminum cans and have fun with friends and ride and ride some more. Pitch those cans in the trash. If you have thought, feel bad.

Ride. Ride a while and return home and drink beer that is in bottles. Drink and drink, and ride. Ride, you freak, ride. Ride with friends who do the same. Ride and ride and go home tired. Fire up yer SUV and DRIVE to the beer store and get some more beer in cans this time and DRIVE to the market to get some brats and chicken wings. Boil those brats in yer cheap beer and forget something. Then DRIVE to get that something you forgot and ENJOY every moment of DRIVING back to the store.

Jack off in the seat and leave your worries behind. You were doing no good anyway -- DRIVING back to the store. Grab your meat sauce and go! Oh, this is fun, ain't it ... DRIVING? Slather your chicken wings and smoke them on the grill.

Ride, or don't. Are you doing any good anyway? Ah ... some say you aren't. Ride? Why ride? You might as well ride, err, DRIVE. Why not?

RIDE. Ride like a motherfuckin' bat out of hell. Ride because someone will always have an opinion, even those you might call your own. Ride and piss them all off -- every last fucking one of them.

Ride and keep riding. Let any semblance of self-righteousness melt away. Ride silent. Hold your tongue. Pick your battles. Ride your bike and live your life. Grill your meat. Drink your beer from bottles and cans. Waste it all away ...

Neighbors offer that they are inspired because you live a path without the Latter Day Witnesses approach of banging on doors, proselytizing. Wow. Really?

If you can do it (riding your bicycle to and from work while guzzling meat and living a totally unexamined life), why can't I?

Obviously, you can't, because you're not nearly as unworthy as me. Or, maybe your life is not as shit-canned as others would have you believe.

While you're DRIVING to the store one day you pass your neighbor, inspired, until she spots you -- YOU -- DRIVING. Lazy son of a bitch.

Oops, you hypocrite. You're a drunken, meat-eating sot. So we thought.

Excuse me, oh .. did someone forget to tell all of us we were on MTV or something? Survivor must be a rerun.

Ride your ride down your own path and live your life and fuck them, even those you might call your friends. I am no ideologue.

Are you?

2 comments:

The Dude [LFoaB] said...

Great post!

-Me

Andy said...

Dude! Sweet post. I raise my Hopslam to you. Don't tell me I didn't inspire you just a little bit on this one, though.