Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Packing

If this is your plate please leave a comment or email me. We supremely wish not to move anything which we do not have to and we'd also like not to trash anything that is not ours. If this plate looks appealing to you -- perhaps it could be part of a set or close enough to not matching an eclectic collection of dishes you have -- it could be yours. We believe it could have been left behind at the Flecktoberfest or some other unnameable gathering. Be the first to reply and I will hand deliver it anywhere in the Twin Cities area for FREE, sans car.

Wait, what am I saying? I'll pedal it to you? Oh, but so many have told me lately (after my recent posts) that cars are a necessity. Hey, we're all friends, but you're fucking WRONG! You may perceive that cars are a necessity considering how we've constructed our culture. However, shelter, food, water and shitting are human necessities (add sex -- all requirements courtesy of Maslow). Arguably, love is, too (but in the case of some friends whom have argued this point with me, I'd question love). (BTW I love you, Noren!) Seriously, thanks for the intense discussion. I never thought my own dislike of cars would get so many folks riled. Rile = thinking. Good for you'ns! You may not agree with me but yer brains are cogitatin'.

So, I feel some overwhelming need to explain myself. I do not hate cars; I hate mindlessness, i.e. laziness. People who drive without thinking deserve lobotamies. Many are getting them without knowing by continuing to drive and drive and drive. People who think they think while driving -- guess what? Many of them deserve lobotamies, too. Drive intentionally. When you shouldn't drive, don't drive. I get this. Do we even need to set a friggin' joke of a mileage radius??? Obviously many people I thought would get it don't. Suck your cars and drive your fears. We're all dying and you just might be lucky to be promoted as captain of the ship. Hooray! Where's my rum?

Bottom line: drive all you want til you can't pay no more for gas then ask why the fuck is gas so expensive and try to suck it up and drive some more and say shit no one is giving me a hand I can't claim my rite they should make gas less expensive or design a new car so I can realize adulthood by the way why can't I afford food anymore and why is Ebay so expensive and skiing in Aspen is out of the question and I'll say: get off your lazy ass and do something like propel from here to there under your own power and people will bitch and say I'm not fair/reasonable/accurate in my opinions and I will say fair/reasonable/accurate is not fair/reasonable/accurate what the fuck is fair/reasonable/accurate anyway except an arbitrary judge waving an arbitrary hand in arbitrary favor of favor be your own judge and wave your own hand and work your own body before it's too late hell yeah I think I met you somewhere I have to go because I realized a nuclear half life ago I ran out of patience sorry for all the invalids and shit I'm sure there will be hydrogen fuel cells to carry you to your enemas ding ding I'm on your left dumbass 'cause this is still America until the Japanese buy us thank you have a nice death I'll see you in Wormville wow did you really think you were entitled to heaven anyway you sorry sack of shitfood oh, apology yours -- it's not the America you were thinking of ... obvously.

Seriously, if'n that's yer plate, email me.

Love ya,

Patch

4 comments:

Snakebite said...

A blog post referencing Maslow - nice!

I have secured a hotel room in Spearfish for the Dakota Five-Oh extended weekend.

That's not my plate and I don't want it.

Noren said...

Ahhh.
my only point was they are nessesary sometimes.Lika an ambulance. Cop cars...Trucks that get all of our bike parts to Q and then we ship them out, in trucks and... PLANES. right now, in our current structure of society, we need vehicles. If we don't use them our economy, world at large would crumble.
But,as far aas the masses go, they are over used.Just go look at the St. Thomas parking lot.who needs an Escalade tpo drive 4 blocks to class?
How you getting to the 5-O?
I love you too.I do. And I look forward to riding my bike home with you again.
noren

jbagression said...

you should ride your bike over to stasiu's next thursday. rather than drive that is... those fellas in 4130 are playing rock and roll... i love you, just like noren does... but better...

hotmommaapril said...

You can deliver that plate to me. It matches the one that I have at my house. Would that be cheating you out of a ride?

Love you,Mrs. Fleck